Bauble Round-Up: Favorite Summer Jewels

Evening Lovelies,

I am sharing my favorite jewelry picks for summer! Granted if you live in North Carolina as I do, you have to be cautious when choosing to wear anything unnecessary from the months of April to September. We are talking necklace tan lines, sweating in unattractive ways, and burning metals--it's serious y'all! Katniss is the only "Girl on Fire" one world needs. Good thing all this bling is so beautiful it totally does not matter if injury occurs.

 Also, I love a lot of beautiful jewelry styles, but I want to iterate that the land of eBay, TJ Maxx, CATO (yes, y'all the girl said Cato!), Belk's clearance rack and Groop Dealz is where 99.3% of my jewelry comes from. A big price tag does not mean extra style...it means you paid more. Invest in pieces you will wear over and over again. Definitely scope out awesome brands like Loren Hope, Bauble Bar, J.Crew,  Kendra Scott, and Stella and Dot to discover inspiration, then look for cheaper alternatives, especially for trendier pieces that may soon go out of style!

Below are some of my [current] favorite jewels:

1. Kendra Scott Harlow Statement Necklace in Neon Yellow: Kendra Scott is a goddess. Her jewelry is exquestic and she knows it, so this pretty will place a large hole in your pocket. Opt for this Forever 21 Facets of Fancy Bib Necklace steal instead without jeopardizing style!

2.  Kendra Scott Rayne Necklace in Teal: Y'all this is too perfect. Love a pendant necklace. They are so easy and great to throw on with a tank and jeans. Also, these come in a slew of colors ranging from blinding brights to neutrals. Check out this Lulu's Cool Pendulum Swing Pendant Necklace for a cheaper buy.

3.  Accessory Concierge Neon Pink Rose Quartz Druzy Pendant : Accessory Concierge has some super cool pieces, but I love a lot of their more tribal pendants in the Summer New Arrivals, especially this quartz pendant! Seriously, love. Love the mix of natural with the neon pink and would be so cool layered with more gold hued pieces.


4. J.Crew Pearl Twisted Hammock Necklace: This beauty is so timeless and looks fabulous layered. I know you are thinking that isn't a very summery piece, but there is only so much neon one season can take, so opt for this understated and elegant piece for weddings or to tone down over the top color that you craving! Although the J.Crew one is a splurge there are plenty of similar styles elsewhere online, but you most certainly would get tons of use out of such a versatile item! [Steal version, Francesca's Medina Pearl Necklace and F21 Marbled Faux Pearl Necklace]

5.  Cato Cascading Bib Necklace This necklace is beautiful! I love the crystals at the top and the colors. Can I admit that I have such a tendency to linger towards aqua-turquoise-greeny-cools, but I tried really hard to incorporate some pinks and this passed the test! For less than $15.00 this is such a steal!

6.  Bauble Bar Crystal Hex Pendant 
Okay...so this piece is so beautiful to me. I love the mix of tortoise and turquoise (say that three times, fast). Hopefully, y'all agree and find this as cool as I do. It is definitely different, but I think it would love fabulous paired with a white summer top or black maxi!  

7.  Towne and Reese Sutton Earring: I recently discovered Towne and Reese and I love their...everything! They create items that are functional enough to be everyday, but also enough flare for occasions and I love their clean and bold styles.

Look below to see how I am currently styling 

some of my favorite pieces already! 

   From left to right, starting with the top row:

 1. Moon and Lola Block Monogram Necklace in Antique Gold (size Large). I cannot say how much I adore Moon and Lola's monograms for quality and wearability. I have two (the other in Tortoise) and wear them almost daily! 

Francesca's Statement Bib Floral Necklace (similar Cato style linked here). 

2. Loft Beaded Statement Necklace (older style, similar style from Towne and Reece I love!).

 3. Kate Spade Say 'Yes' to 'Mrs' Necklace. This necklace is so special to me, given to me by my girls on my wedding eve, but it is also fabulous and can be layered with anything!

Purple Peridot Crystal Dome Necklace found for a steal on GroopDealz 

4. This is a GroopDealz exclusive that I unfortunately cannot find, but keep a look out for daily deals. I snagged it for $3.99! 

5. This Cato Fashion's necklace is no longer available online! Look above at the Cato necklace I suggested.
6. AHHH. Love this necklace y'all! Page 6 Cora Necklace ( in a different color I don't see my color any longer) is such a beautiful piece. Every time I wear it I get asked so many times where it is from. It is literally a statement necklace.

Ashton, is that you?

Y'all, Mondays hit me like a proverbial swarm of locusts--infiltrating my peace and destroying my joy and filling up all the wrong places, i.e. my bed. Not to be dramatic, but between my allergy-plagued (sorry to continue with the plague theme) eyes, that literally began bleeding last week after being awoken from their peaceful slumber, (I hope you are all envisioning the image of grace and beauty that is your's truly in the morning hours) and my California King bed that is make of Heaven fluff and baby bottoms I just ain't got time for Mondays.

Granted, I also don't have time for Tuesdays or Wednesdays.

 Mornings and I just...clash, but anyway on this particular Monday I entered full war-combat with the morning hours. After hitting the snooze button for the umpteenth time, I left my cuddly animal (my actual animal not my husband, who had long departed for a night shift) and began apprizing the situation that is "getting ready." For anyone that knows me well they know I take getting ready in record time as a personal challenge and art form--15 minutes and not a moment longer before I am spilling hot coffee and moving out the door. This Monday, I could not find my coffee mug lid (to later be found in my makeup bag... apparently, I was saving it for the dark ages when Joe and I need me to start using concealer for hiding my bags and coffee creamer. He would argue that with the price tag this should be considered. Anon.), so I poured my coffee into three different mugs before finding a freaking-matching-lid...is this TOO much to ask? I think not. Next, I scramble to gather an assortment of papers that resemble my copies that need to be made and spill said coffee on said resembling lesson plan thingies. Run (literally, y'all) out the door and down the stairs to realize I forgot my makeup bag (not to be too transparent here, but I would indeed sell an organ for the magic that dwells in that seemingly blasé, black, Vera Bradley bag).  Once I am finally on the move and feeling liberated that I, indeed, will make it to work, I am landed behind the world’s slowest moving Miller Light delivery truck. Beer should not be delivered before the hours of 8 A.M., but this dutiful truck took its responsibility of quenching the desires of all those who thirst with the utmost seriousness. Moving not a nudge above 31 m.p.h. I wanted to pull alongside the responsible driver and inquire if he was actually transporting the art of the covenant in a grand twist of irony, I thought better and begrudgingly applied my prized foundation. Fatefully, the Miller Light magician was en route to my exact location, so we trotted along until he turned on some street that showed zero signs of 7/11’s or fraternal institutions. Logically, I accelerated to make up for lost times and now was coasting at 55, feeling like Wonder Woman…but what is that in the distance? What are all those taillights for? Oh yes, regulation tree cutting that can only be performed during the morning compute.  Y’all, I would not boast I am the most patient of people, but like seriously? After passing the state-employed Lumberjacks, who disappointedly do not even wear flannel, I was home free. But, oh. OH. The train…I was once again stopped for a train that I swear was longer than usual moving slower than usual. Alas, I pulled into my parking spot and stepped foot on glorious land.

Do y’all ever get a case of the Monday’s? Like everything--read above, everything feels like it is going against you. A spiritual case of the Monday’s? Can’t quite get consistent with your quiet times and worship feels uninspired. A physical case of the Monday’s? Battling a disease that remains nameless or continuing receiving bad news from a string of doctors.  An emotional case of the Monday’s? Continually feeling unfulfilled and without purpose. I pray y’all bypass that Miller Light truck, turn swiftly right before the lumberjacks, and beat the train by a mile. Mondays are just a set of circumstances lying to you. Mondays tell you that joy cannot be won and victory is not yours. I pray that you are perpetually reminded that we serve a God that is better and sweeter and more sovereign than circumstances will lead you to believe.

Amen. Thank you. Hallejuah.

Sorry for my blogging hiatus. I suppose I have been a mixture of uninspired and busy, a lethal combination. Without further ado, (although, I doubt many of you were sitting on the edge of your seat for my latest musings!) I am writing this blog post after being challenged, during an especially powerful and challenging sermon, to write a thank you letter to God.

God, Father, Abba,

Thank you for adopting me by your grace and mercy as your renewed and won daughter to a kingdom where I should be an unfit resident. However Lord, your love makes me right at home. Thank you for not giving up on my as a lot of earthly parents tend to when I repeatedly make the same mistakes and missteps. Thank you for being just. Thank for condoling me when this world fails me, as it does daily. Thank you for making me feel empty when I try to find justification and fulfillment outside of you, an ache that forces me to unashamedly run into your outstretched arms.  Thank you for your scriptures that sustain me and reveal your goodness and character. Thank you for placing people in my life that hold me accountable; accountable for sinfulness, apathy, and abandoning those same truths. Thank you for forgiving me when I am not a fit example or the salt of this world. Thank you for being the absolute perfect Father and thank you, for restoring my relationship with my earthly one. Thank you for being greater than addictions, greater than suffering, greater still than hurt and hunger and ache and tears. Thank you for love that moves me to drops of gratitude spilling from me uncontrollably. Thank you for the sunrise piercing through my curtains to remind me of the goodness of your creation. Thank you for being the ultimate provider, even when I stumble to realize my plans are not your own. Thank you for praises and thank you for defeats. Thank you for your sage wisdom that looms over my inept abilities. Thank you for choosing me, silly me, ungraceful me, quick-to-anger me. Lord, thank you for being better than I even know and thank you for this life of discovering your goodness. Thank you for a husband that loves me like you love the church and for a family that physically picks me up while you whisper, "sweet daughter, it is finished." Thank you for abounding, overwhelming, and overflowing grace that I simply am unworthy to receive. Thank you for unanswered prayers that really protect me and nudges that remind me of my potential. Thank you for your Great Commission that reminds me with urgency why I am here. Thank you for being worth every single sacrifice and scoff when I murmur that "I am follower of Christ" and God, thank you for making me uncomfortable, so I can have the tiniest of taste of what prosecution feels like. Lord, thank you for freedom to worship you. Thank you for coffee shops where I can seat with my Bible open and fast food restaurants where I can bow my head to pray. Thank you for suffering Lord, even though it hits me deep in my stomach. Thank you for patience that reminds me my tiny, miniscule life is a flash in the scheme of eternity. Thank you for humility that screams, "You are sinful" because Lord, I forget some days when I feel like everything is going my way and the sun seems to shine only for me. Lord, thank you for my friends that have also been adopted by you. Thank you for their eternal lives. Thank you for allowing me to sprint into pools of grace and find comfort of unbeknownst magnitudes. Thank you for being good, so good.

Gratefully yours,

Your Daughter

[Print available at Lara Casey Shop]

I challenge each of you to reflect on all that we have to be thankful for. Obviously, your letter does not have to look like mine, but list five things you are thankful for today. I can guarantee it will instantly change your perspective.

What is screaming your name? Life Callings, the Confused, the Complacent, and Others.

"It wasn’t until a few years later that someone pointed out to me an interesting fact: the root of the English word vocation is the Latin verb voca, which means “to call.” The linguistic evidence shows that at some point in history, people thought of every type of work as a “calling.” Whether you are a minister or a mechanic, you do not work because it pays the bills, or because it’s personally fulfilling, or because it justifies the money you spent on college tuition. You work because it glorifies God." 

 --Bob Thune, Campus Crusade Staff     

The above quote has been (electronically) stuck in the corner of my computer for several years via the "Stickies" app. I have wanted to teach for as long as I can remember. I wanted to teach literature to everyone and anyone. I wanted to read books and sip my Starbucks hot lattes with young scholars. That was a decade ago, when I dreamed about a nameplate with "Dr." etched into it. I still want to teach but for all the different reasons. The Lord tugged on my heart strings and showed me inequality in schools that makes me angry and fired-up and passionate. Angry, passion, excitement that is what callings cultivate. As I am so often asked, "Why did you spend money at UNC and Duke just to be a teacher?"My family gloats with pride about being the first person in my immediate family to graduate from  college, yet I cannot count the times I have heard "Don't you want to do something that makes more money. You will never be successful teaching." If you are interested in the even more brutally honest enlist the opinions of high school students, "Mrs. Martinez, you poor?" God placed me in uncomfortable places. He started demanding why would you want to teach if the end goal is a book? He started pushing and pulling on my motives. I needed to love students, empathize with students, celebrate with students. Perfecting content is 10% of what matters in a classroom. Kids can sniff out a fraud from a mile away. If you don't care about their success, about their lives when they step out of your room, about their brilliance then you are not going anywhere quickly amidst charismatic, cranky, colorful teens. No. My dream stopped being teaching and my calling became teaching. I cannot imagine doing the most exhausting job in the world with the most important people in the world if it were not a calling. 

Instead God revealed to me it might be time I started practicing what I preached. If I proclaim loving my neighbor then the 90+ kids I see daily better feel more loved than Netflix on date night. If I believe God's words, "Do justice and righteousness" then I need to find the schools and the students and the parents who need me as their advocate. And if Jesus says, "Go" then I need to transform my workplace into a place where I foster love to the unloved and shine a light even on days when an IV of coffee is not energizing me. Callings aren't always green acres and butterflies--callings are messy, scary, and unknown territories. Thankfully, God is good. Also, thankfully God creates a kingdom full of talents. Each person is called to honor and glorify Christ, that looks so different for everyone. I pray I continue to be intentional in my calling. I pray I do not judge others with big salaries because they surely are not following their callings. I pray that others realize more than missionaries have important work to do. God wants, deserves, and craves our very best not our comfort.

I mean, you’re a teacher, Taylor.
Be honest. What do you make?

And I wish he hadn’t done that— asked me to be honest—
because, you see, I have this policy about honesty and ass-kicking:
if you ask for it, then I have to let you have it.
You want to know what I make?
I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.
I can make a C+ feel like a Congressional Medal of Honor
and an A-­ feel like a slap in the face.
How dare you waste my time
with anything less than your very best.
I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall
in absolute silence. No, you may not work in groups.
No, you may not ask a question.
Why won’t I let you go to the bathroom?
Because you’re bored.
And you don’t really have to go to the bathroom, do you?
I make parents tremble in fear when I call home:
Hi. This is Mr. Mali. I hope I haven’t called at a bad time,
I just wanted to talk to you about something your son said today.
To the biggest bully in the grade, he said,
“Leave the kid alone. I still cry sometimes, don’t you?
It’s no big deal.”
And that was noblest act of courage I have ever seen.
I make parents see their children for who they are
and what they can be.

You want to know what I make? I make kids wonder,
I make them question.
I make them criticize.
I make them apologize and mean it.
I make them write.
I make them read, read, read.
I make them spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful
over and over and over again until they will never misspell
either one of those words again.
I make them show all their work in math
and hide it on their final drafts in English.
I make them understand that if you’ve got this,
then you follow this,
and if someone ever tries to judge you
by what you make, you give them this.

Here, let me break it down for you, so you know what I say is true:
Teachers make a goddamn difference! Now what about you?

-Taylor Mali 

Marrying young and other acts of Idiocy.

Joe and I will celebrate six months of martial bliss in four, short days and it is loco crazy how quickly time travels, but is equally crazy how often people weigh in their opinions about our decision to marry young. Recently someone asked me..."how did you know?" Know that you are being strange? Know there is green remnants of tapas in my teeth? Obviously, I wasn't following this inquisitive friend's stream of consciousness, but he soon ironed out the details for me. "No, no. How did you know he was the one? How did you know you should get married?" This conversation unraveled into a quick debriefing of the two prevailing "schools of thoughts" about marriage. Apparently, some people think that people should marry young because then you change and grow together and others believe you should wait until you are fully mature (...oh, wait. I thought I was. Awkward.), settled in your career, and ready before you marry. Plenty of other strangers are quick to give me their two-cents. I love hearing it. The Gasp. "You are married? Oh, but you are so young. Poor thing." Another fine gentlemen recently informed me I chose the marriage pathway because I was Southern (obviously, a synonym for idiotic. Don't even get me started, y'all). He quickly informed me that though I felt I was happy I would have never made such a mistake (he used somewhat nicer lingo) if I didn't grow up in the South.

Hear ye. Hear ye.

Let me now assure all of you that I am proud and confident of our decision to marry young. I don't believe it means I have third leg or a hankering to marry my first cousin. In our unique case, marrying young was an act of obedience to God. We dated and it was where the Lord led us, although, this isn't the case for everyone; we knew it was right for us. The Apostle Paul wasn't too keen on marriage he says in 1 Corinthians, "But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this." You right Paul, you right. But Psalms tells us that wives [and presumably husbands] are more valuable than rubies, so why would you ignore the goodness of what Christ has led you to because you are anticipating...a diamond, a shinier new career. There is always a bigger and better version of the reality you are in. As my pastor always says don't let good things become God things. The inability to settle down for some is a reflection of the fear they may be experiencing. I have many friends who murmur halfheartedly that they will have time to serve God once they are married. Do not allow the "what if's" of life distract you from the right-now-nuggets-of-goodness that are all around you (this applies to so much more than marriage). 

I think marriage is a valued commodity in a culture that gives it little legitimacy. We tune in to watch televised weddings that cost hundreds of thousands of dollars (nothing but love, Sean and Catherine!), and send tweets at rocket-power speed when couples divorce. We mock marriage and we joke about it. As Paul states in his letters, marriage isn't for everyone, but those who decide to enter into marriage are entering into a sacred union that now includes you, your spouse, and Christ. I am confident that the person I am today will change and transform into a refined version over time, but I am more than confident that Christ knows the strands of hair on my head and equally knows the intricacies of mine and my husband's marriage and will continue to grow us for his glory. I consider what I have learned about compromise, financial struggle, serving one another, and joy in the short six months we have been married and I know there is so much more to come. I am thankful that we can use being young as an excuse for the next five years when we fall flat on our faces over and over again. I yelp of joy thinking of how much greater Christ's love for us is than any love we can give to one another. 

There it is. I am married. I am 23 years old. I am not dumb. 

Just to soothe the pain of the aforementioned naysayers rudeness condoning the goodness that lies below the Mason-Dixon line, here are five reasons I love the South: 

1. Diet Sundrop. errwhere. and whatever additive in it that makes it addictive (but really don't tell me about all its health effects. I am sipping on one now and I am as fat and happy as a cat).
2. BBQ: Eastern, Western, Vinegar, Ketchup...while I hold a favorite in this feud it is all so good it does not matter. 
3. Wrap-a-round porches and the smell of fresh cut grass. I am aware this must exist in the North, but this is the cornerstone of Southern goodness, y'all.
4. Sweet Tea-- which is just awful for your health, but so darn good for your soul. 
5. Random people greeting you (because I try to do this in other places and it is frowned upon).

Fresh Face: Current Favorite Products

No shocker to the world, but I have a confession I really love some makeup. Hellllur (cue Madea voice), if you spend any time with me it is apparent that I love my makeup. Also, I love perusing YouTube videos (please let me know if you need recommendations because I have two lists: 1. the hysterically odd ones and 2. the really helpful videos). Momma B is quite the diva and she long instilled in me the importance of quality in your face care products and makeup. She also taught me to budget for biweekly manicures (Hubs isn't as keen on this one ;)). I also really enjoy doing others' makeup and am a sucker for playing with new products. Drop me off at a Sephora and I would be content for hours on end! Do not hear me wrong in that girls are not beautiful without makeup, but for this girl I feel especially confident when I am sporting a fresh face! I am all for practices that renew girls' confidence and make them feel as beautiful as they truly are! Also, let me admit I am all about convenience and sometimes do my makeup in the car (Read: I always do my makeup in the car. Picture a manic me holding an eyeliner in one hand, while chugging coffee in the other...Oops). 

Drum roll, please. Here are my current favorite products. Refer to the numbers below for all the deets.

1. Well-Rested Eye Brightener Broad Spectrum SPF 20: Ladies, run and do not walk to get this concealer. I struggle with pretty severe allergies and consequently, have killer dark circles. This product does exactly what it promises makes you look well-rested! It also provides wonderful protection via SPF (very important in this sensitive zone around your eyes!).  I also love the look of the powder which was surprising to me as a long under the eye liquid concealer veteran. I use a dense brush to apply it under my eyes. An additional benefit is how little product you need!

2. MAC Studio Fix Fluid SPF 15: Okay, foundation is tricky! I have tried several different types of foundation and have most recently settled down in the MAC district, but believe the Studio Fix is my current fav out of the various foundations offered. I love coverage, like a lot of coverage. Studio Fix offers the best long wear coverage in my opinion, without looking "cakey". There is a face and body foundation offered that is equivalent to onstage makeup--this is supposed to offered the most coverage; yet, I think Studio Fix provides day long, natural coverage. One more note: if you are a newbie to MAC products their foundations are divided into two branches when looking for your right color match. You will notice foundation comes in shades such as NW 32 (the color I wear)--NW is for yellow undertone skin shades and NC is for red undertones and the number is increasing shade color (32 would be a dark shade in comparison to 20). One flaw of this product is the bottle does not include a pump (which you can buy from Mac for a few dollars. I did not buy one), and this may prevent you from utilizing every drop of the product.

3. Hard Candy Glamoflauge Heavy Duty Concealer ($6.00 at WalMart Stores): Six dollars, y'all! This gem's claim to fame is its ability to cover even tattoos...well, it probably would. I can attest to its wonderful ability to cover zits, and the like. I apply this to blemishes after application of my foundation. I highly recommend this concealer, especially for the low cost. Another plus is the shades are very user-friendly: ultra light, light, medium, tan, etc. I apply this with a foundation brush and I rarely have to retouch its application. While I am due for a new tube you get a ton of wear from this product and smaller than a dime size is more than enough.

4. Covergirl Lipslicks Smoochies in Text Me 220 (Less than $4.00 at grocery stores): You might want to pick this up based on its adorable name, duh. This product is less of a daily go-to for my routine, but a fun pick for Spring and Summertime. I often felt too cowardly to try out red lips, but the sheerness of this chapstick-lipstick dual mix is the bomb.com. I also love the sheerness that isn't too thick and doesn't leave your lips stained...aka looking like a 6 year-old that was playing in momma's makeup stash or a cray cray that could make a cameo as Mr. Kool-Aid's boo thing! It happens, y'all.

5. bareMinerals READY Blush in The Faux Pas: I know this color looks a little clown-esqe, but fear not it is really great on a variety of skin tones and looks surprisingly natural. I love to wear this color year-round. It provides awesome contour and is super fun. I also use this daily and have owned it for almost year now and still have plenty. bareMinerals also offers blush in loose powder, but I find this easier and longer lasting.

6. Rimmel Exaggerate Eyeliner in Noir (Target): I am forever looking for the perfect eyeliner. I was long a MAC eyeliner wearer, but I went through it way to fast and find this Rimmel to be comparable, if not better, for a major cut in price! As mentioned earlier, I have some kickin' allergies so I reapply eyeliner at least once a day because my eyes water and POOF! it is gone. This does a wonderful job staying in place and I favor the roll-up mechanical eyeliner to a sharpener style for convenience. Also, it comes with a blender on the bottom, which is great for different eyeliner looks!

7. MAC Mineralize Skinfinish Natural in Medium: Last, but not least! I love MAC Skinfinish as a finishing powder. On weekends I will often use this alone for less coverage, but I mainly use it to set my foundation. I would highly recommend trying out a finishing powder if you aren't pleased with the look of your foundation. Powder sets foundation for longer wear and a much more flawless finish. Also, do not be shy about returning makeup if you aren't pleased. MAC (and I know many other brands) will refund your purchase even after you have used all the product if you aren't pleased or you were poorly matched up!

Let me know if y'all have any questions and I would love to hear some of your favorite products (or if you have had bad experiences with any of these--not everyone has the same experiences)!

BFFL: Friends and Unity among Sisters

Working in a high school is like collecting man holes worth of social science experimental data. I feel like Lindsay Lohan... fade in... from the legendary opening scene of the timeless classic, Mean Girls. That's me, an unruly Ginger pre-rehab observing the new [social] world order of high school. Perplexed, yet fascinated. Girls, especially the high school species, are perplexing to say the very less. I absolutely always reflect on fifteen-year-old me when I get frustrated or sadden or maddened when quick-talking, sassy, scantily clad little things enter my classroom. There are quite a few things I learn from these ladies, who under all that sass are brilliant and radiant jewels that I want to shake love into and wrap a potato sack around their exposed mid-drifts. Momma Alyssa be lurkin'.

1. Comparison is a losing game.

First, what would a world look like where girls, ladies, and full-grown women started respecting one another and living in a sisterhood of unity? Well, it would look good, really good. Like Oreo Cheesecake good. Growing up surrounded by the smartest and most beautiful friends, I constantly played a comparison game. Am I good enough? Am I smart enough? Am I likable enough? I wish, oh my stars I wish, that comparison stopped once you were handed a high school diploma, but girls play this game till the grave. I struggle daily to push away the thoughts of negativity that crept up when I see a girl doing something I deem "inappropriate"... too high of heels, bad eyebrows.

What would my life, my prayer life, my relationship with my husband, my relationships with girlfriends look like if I saw other women for their beauty, intelligence, and spiritual gifts rather than a lack of my own beauty, intelligence, or spiritual gifts? I am so quick to use other women as a measuring stick of my own success in various realms of life, instead of bolstering and building up one another. Hopefully, you are following my logic, but have y'all ever considered a girl putting down another girl such a sophomoric event? Childish. Gossip seems so "immature" , YET don't we as women of God, as sisters in Christ, as women put down other women daily. Don't we question how women mother their children, how they dress, how they interact with men, how they excel in their careers, how they treat the pursuit of relationships? How can we expect true spiritual growth among our friends when we terminate any seed of vulnerability? Call me silly, but I am less likely to express my struggles, the real real life that is going on behind a murmured prayer request or a lingering text if I feel a tinge of judgment every time I interact with someone.

2. Honoring friendships.

Honoring my selfish friends, honoring my single friends, honoring my busy friends, honoring my fun friends, honoring my extroverted friends.

Honoring friends can be hard. Being called to live in community is hard. Living in community with our sisters in Christ is struggling together and worshiping together and praising together. I should suffer alongside my sisters as if those are my afflictions. Community is not a text sporadically sent once a month or tagging a friend in a tweet. Honoring a friendship is a two-way street that includes accountability, hard talks, and a catalog of transpiring grace. Our friendships should provide a clearer picture of God's character. Girls, what if we spent as much time pursuing relationships with one another, as we do judging one another?

I must use this space to brag and brag some more on my best friend, who teaches me every, single day a new way to love my sisters in Christ. This beautiful soul teaches me more daily what a friendship rooted in Christ looks like, sounds like, and feels like. She encourages me. She prays over me. She listens when I need her to and speaks without regret when I need accountability. She shares biblical truths with me and teaches me how to show grace in numerous ways. The list could continue, my friends, this girl KILLS being a friend! She's all-star quality. I absolutely desire to be more like her in my pursuit of friendships. I pray as a community of women, all girls seek these deeply rooted and insanely fulfilling friendships. Friendship should not be a battle of who makes you feel less awkward it is who allows you to feel most at home with being your awkward, adorably weird, and quirky selves. I challenge myself to get better at this. I challenge myself to be intentional in building meaningful community that uplifts and encourages all.

Like Queen Bey always says, "Who run the world? Girls." Not that pertinent, but necessary.

Spring Essentials: Things I am currently loving!

North Carolina can be so tricky! She (pronoun I arbitrarily decided on—I like Ole’ Carolina being one of the gals) loves to dupe us with unseasonably (because there are no real seasons in this quaint neck of the woods) odd temperatures and unbearable mood swings that gives us Carolinians whiplash and pneumonia. Love her for it! This Saturday and the perpetually blooming Bradford pear trees left me reeling for sweet springtime. However, today the temperatures are frigid and my soul, too, is cold  as a result.

Almost every piece of clothing I buy I try to determine its utility value: how much wear can I get out of this? Thus, almost all my clothing is worn year-round. BUT wait, I do have a niffy little box of spring ready shorts and tanks that I took a gander inside this weekend and y'all, suddenly I smelt blooms and wished for sand between my toes. I am sucker for spring and fall. I would love an everlasting year of high-sixty-something’s. 

Without further ado, here is my list of spring essentials. Otherwise known as the websites' links I linger over too often, you feel me, right? I hope this is common practice for all girls or this just got awkward.

Jack Roger Georgica Sandal in Cork and Gold

Old Navy Rockstar Jeans in White (sign up for emails and receive alerts--their jeans go on sale regularly and I snagged these for $19).

Splurge Alert and will never be mine, but a girl can dream! Love this Sail to Sable Cheers to Chic Tunic in Yellow. 

Smitten with these Pleated Crepe J.Crew shorts in all colors, but especially the Bright Cerise and Navy

Reece and Blair Collection-The Loring statement earrings. Another splurge alert, but these are beautiful. 

J.Crew Knit Tunic Dress in White. Technically, this is a beach cover-up, but the material is thick enough to double as a flawlessly easy on-the-go dress. This screams summer to me! 

   The perfect jean jacket is a staple for the spring! This Gap 1969 Denim Jacket in Jericho is perfect. My current jacket is very similar from Nordstrom and I get so much wear out of it!

The Saddle Hayden Satchel from Gigi New York is too much goodness in one bag. It is the perfect transition bag and it comes in awesome spring/summer hues like Skye Blue and Tangerine. This is like the wish-wish-and-keep-wishing addition to the list.

Loving the graphic tees this season. These from Old Navy are a steal and perfect for tucking into skirts or shorts. 

Cami Maxi Dress from Gap is perfect and so versatile. So easy to dress up or down and have y'all put on a maxi lately, it is equivalent of PJ's on the comfort level--sign me up! Also, comes in another awesome color, Rose.

Jun & Ivy Scalloped Tank in Neon Pink from Francesca's. Love the scallop detail and bright color will look perfect through summer! 

Hope you enjoy my picks! Does Spring Fever have you dreaming?

Trusting if you Trust: Navigating True Trust

Last week was rough, y'all. And the week before that one. And maybe, like one more before that one. Walking around with bricks on bricks on my shoulders, rough. On days when my mascara is competing for the grand prize in an abstract painting contest, I love to post a picture (#grace), I love to tell a friend how I am just "trusting in the Lord", and on rough days I really love to be...mean, no better way to say that one. As I am quick to admit, I am a professional wall-builder. Call me Bob the Builder--but real talk, when circumstances become harder and harder I do a lot of things. Yell at my sweet husband. Demand jelly beans and chocolate bribes. Crawl under my covers for an abnormal amount of time and pretend I am on the cast of Pretty Little Liars. Yep, doing the most. What I don't do when I realize I cannot handle one more microscopic grain of hardship on my back? Call out on Christ. Trust that God is greater than my current situation. Believe God's word when it declares He truly will not give me more than I can handle. Fundamentally, I know these truths, but all the other things in my heart and head blur my spiritual desire for the Gospel, during times when that should be my first plan of action. If you were to ask me if I trust in God for all my needs I would say yes, every single time. I would not call myself a fair-weather fan of Christ because I know without a shadow of a doubt His blood has bought me at a price that I could never afford.

But, I think trust is an ongoing problem of Christians...or heck, just me.

When "it is a great day to be alive and I know the sun is still shining when I close my eyes" and I am feeling "blessed" (we won't go down that road in this post), I am quick to tell others the importance of trusting God in all circumstances. Yet, insert this last month and I just want to hug my Grandpaw and I am suddenly afraid for another family member's health and I feel inadequate at every turn of my program, then find me locked in my car shouting at God "WHY?" I just don't get it. I am such a great..oh wait, that isn't how it works! I have to humbly remind myself that circumstances, situations, bad days are all a result of sin, not a reflection of Christ's inadequacies. Words and actions are such different mediums for displaying our love to God on high. I pray I continually choose actions over words. My words are often convoluted into complaints and a quick chat with a friend is soon a full-blown vent session. My words are more adequately used for praises and prayers. Next time, I have a really dramatic, stage-5 clinger episode I desperately pray that "I am just trusting in the Lord" is so much more than a trite phrase flung haphazardly from my Christian lingo play-book.

In other news, five new things I really like about having a husband:

1. Hearing his voice next to mine during worship. Y,all. Knowing I get to praise Christ with our marriage and lives forever makes me gush, but I adore hearing my sweet hubs sing out of tune next to me.

2. Being like super weird. This is not new, but it has escalated. Example, Joe told me how he responded to a co-worker in this odd voice we use and got really embarrassed. #wifewin

3. Always having my car backed-in to my parking spot and filled up. Reversing into spots is not a skill I possess, apparently ignoring my gas light is a skill I possess.

4. Shopping the guys' and girls' sections in stores (See previous post to discover the delight I find in shopping). Having a husband is like getting a new bod--I suddenly get to look at a whole new world of clothing.

5. Bringing up the word "husband" in conversation. Stop. So fun. Also, if I see you often sorry, not sorry. i.e. "My husband and I were just at our apartment, where my husband lives too, and we were talking about him being my husband."

Like, what a stud.


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Conquest for clothes and couture: managing materialism

I really like clothes.
I really like gawdy, gold bracelets.
I really like shopping in any number of places.
I really like expensive designer brands.
I really like Target's 75% off clearance rack.
I really like patterned shift dresses.
I really like simple and timeless.
I really like a good #ootd.
I really like basic tees.
I really like Kate, Stella, Michael, and Tory.
Oh, I really, really like it all. 

I am ashamed to admit the number of times an overwhelming desire grips my ability to reason and before I realize it I am skipping out the door with green-greed pulsating in my eyes and my car is suddenly parked and my feet are moving me towards a Target, a mall, a boutique. I have often convinced myself one more bedazzled shirt, one more shiny bauble, one more flouncy skirt and I will suddenly find fashion fulfillment. This may all sound hyper-dramatized, but this is an on-going struggle. It is not the type of struggle that decimates my banking account or makes me chose between food or a new top, yet it is grave serious. It is serious because it has great potential to become an idol, a scheming false pretense that plots to steal my affection from Christ. Even more so, where you put your money is often where you put your heart. Imagining what kingdom impact my money spent on clothing could have is a sombering reality.

Clothes can become a security blanket. If you have ever viewed yourself as unattractive, overweight, or void of joy--guess what looks better and better with every flash sale, every new boutique opening, every red sale sign? Clothing. Being both an avid consumer of fashion and working on the sales side for years I know how real this struggle is to so, so many gorgeous women. It pained me to hear beautiful women utter something like, "If you don't like what is under them, at least you will look good on the outside" or "This would look so much better if I lost 20 pounds" as they flung too-small, hiphugger jeans over the dressing-room door towards me. Phrases like this just even more accurately pinpoint how dangerous materialism can become if you begin to use a perpetual shopping trip to uplift your spirits. I don't say these things to tell you I never want to buy another new thing to hang in my closet...because that just is not true (refine my heart, oh Lord). Instead I hope to lend a perspective I have to continually remind myself of: contentment is only found in the Lord. Joy is only found in the Lord.

While working as a sales associate, I remember feeling impending doom and happiness mingle together when one particularly precious woman would enter into my store weekly. She wore a hat to cover the damage chemotherapy wrecked on her body and mind. Her wigs varied from giddy blonde to spunky brunette. She often joked her spontaneous hair escapades was her favorite blessing from cancer. As she entered the store, always impeccably dressed, always flawless makeup, she would zealously pile clothes into my arms as I started her dressing room. I wanted to hug her, to cry with her. I wanted to go grab lunch with her. I didn't want to use her pained heart and broken lymphatic system to meet my sales quota for the day. It was so evident that clothing brought her a quick fix, like a drug addict's prick. However, her weekly trips made her feel better and I am in no place to steal that. This warrior felt beautiful for a few hours while she tried on new outfits and our staff oooooed and ahhhhhed over her.

I challenge myself to: 1. Continually strive to clothe myself in joy, confidence, and grace. 2. Remember that more clothes only equates a bigger pile of dust when I leave this earth. 3. Give more than I buy. 4. Shop my closet more than any store. 5. Give thanks for the things I own.

Love Letter to a 15-year-old me: confidence, choices, and conceit

Being in constant contact with high school students in the classroom and having a heart for high school girls, I am constantly reflecting on what a mess I was in high school and to be honest, most of college. My identity was vested in so many things: clothes, people's perception of me, appearances, and the list continues, that I forgot my true identity was a daughter of Christ. Although, I definitely have not discovered the secret formula for self-actualization, realizing my worth and identity are alone for the glory of Christ is quite the game-changer.

In honor of Valentine's Week, I thought it would be appropriate to write a love letter to myself during a time when I so frequently disliked, or even hated, rather than appreciated, loved, and clothed myself in joy as I am learning to do presently. Loving myself is an on-going battle that I have to commit myself to daily, and to anyone who truly struggles with this be encouraged my friend, one day I promise you will smile at the girl you see smiling back!

Dear 15-year-old-me,

Today, you probably cried. You do that a lot lately. Today, you called yourself fat (or implied it), you didn't eat that much, then you ate too much. You do a whole lot of that. Oh, you worked out a lot, too. Sweet girl, please. just. stop. You are beautiful. Let me assure you you won't feel that way for quite sometime, but you have to trust me (or us, however this works). You aren't beautiful because some guy said you were hott. You aren't beautiful because your friends liked your outfit today or asked you how you did your eye makeup. You aren't beautiful because you fit into your self-professed "skinny-goal-jeans". You aren't beautiful because someone texted you today or IMed you (don't get used to that Instant Messenger thing). You aren't beautiful because you have an epic amount of friends compared to the days when you had so few. I think we had about zero, remember that? You aren't beautiful because of your talent to hide your home life from your friends or your fear of losing your mom. I know it is insane and you feel like you could absolutely never, ever, ever feel beautiful but my-goodness you are. You are beautiful because you are bought by the grace of a King. He calls you beautiful and that is infinitely more significant than the "best dressed" superlative you are vying for. The creator of the entire universe (!) calls you "His". Rejoice in that. Find life there. Feed your soul this truth, oozing with goodness. You do not have to continue feeding yourself jabs and tugs at your heart. You don't deserve the scowls you give yourself in the mirror or the on-going repertoire of sarcastic rhetoric you hide behind. Girl. I wish I could stand beside you and hug you. You (we) have never been talented in letting others in, but you will feel such overwhelming freedom if you allow yourself to stop carrying around guilt and righteousness. Instead of looking around you to the left, to your friend who is smarter than you, or the to the right, to your friend who is prettier (i.e. skinnier) than you cling to the gospel for ultimate confidence. I know you haven't fully figured out what the Gospel is. You haven't quite figured out the difference between religion and relationship.

Gosh, just don't condemn others. Speak goodness, never hate. For now, love others fearlessly. You have been blessed with wonderful friends and they need you as much as you need them. Don't let your feelings get hurt when you feel left out, it happens. Control your tongue--oh, it gets you into trouble. Speak life-giving words. Spend more time with Christ than you do getting ready in the morning. Pour out kindness. You have so many incredible examples of what kindness looks like. Start a book journal, you never remember all the books you read. Don't play the comparison game--you lose a lot. You still have a lot of hard lessons to learn. Your heart gets broken a few times (by the same immature boy). You break a heart and feel awful about it. Learn to forgive yourself. Forgive others too, you are really bad at that (it only gets a little better). Show as much grace to others as is shown to you. Praise yourself for working really hard, it pays off. Believe God's plan is beautiful and He designed it intricately. Work harder. Always remain thankful and humble. Good for you for being kind to people different than you--do that more, a lot more. Guard your heart, don't forget where you throw the key. Crying isn't weak. You are a strong warrior, but don't forget to grow weak before Christ. Pray, then pray some more. Lastly sweet girl, cling to joy. CLING to joy with both hands. There are things around you that you just don't control and those things hurt you, but you are going to learn about renewing joy and it is going to rock your world. Figure out everything there is to know about the cross and allow it to lead your path.


I hope you like me when you meet me.

You

Imperfect is the New Perfect: what marriage has taught me about hanging out with your bestie for a really long and epic slumber party!

When considering the concept of transparency it is hard to overlook my relationships, especially my relationship with my hottie hubs. I consider it crucial to not only be authentic in the relationships I cultivate, but also remaining accountable to others about those relationships.

Our culture is so hyper-focused on weddings, over-the-top-lip-dub proposals, couples, engagement shoots, sparkly rings and marriage. Simultaneously, our culture (especially the culture of the church) tells us there is something wrong with being single. You are flawed if there isn’t a ring on your finger. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I am a big fan of using social media to make it look like Joe and I have it all together (and we just love some selfies). Flash to reality: we are sitting on our Big Lots couch in sweats watching a whole lot more Netflix than is socially acceptable. I rarely am wearing makeup and last week, I actually witness the sweet boy grab a dirty (dirty dirt, y’all) spoon from the kitchen sink and use it to cut a slice of pizza. In what world do men gather such logic? Basically, getting to play roomie with your best friend for eternity is pretty legit, but even more often Joe and I fight over pity things (see above: spoon incident) or I am crying in the bathroom because everything I try on makes me “feel” like a heifer and we are late for whatever event we were attempting to attend. When I think of how I present our relationship I want to be honest and real about life getting real ,because to me that is what makes it so imperfectly perfect. I have even received comments or text messages to the extent of “AH. Y’ALL ARE PERFECT.” That’s when I just have to say…shut the front door. We aren’t perfect, not even a bit. In fact, it is incredibly hard for me to describe our relationship without the Gospel. We are simply two sinful people that have failed one another repeatedly in the past and will continue to fail each other in the future. We have been together for a long time and during that time we have gained invaluable knowledge about forgiveness and grace. There are times when I know people have questioned our motives or logic, etc. but ultimately, we have rested in a supernatural peace from Christ that points us to the cross. I want to share some of the things we learned during pre-martial counseling and in our very few months of marriage so far.

1.   “We are family. Get up errbody and sing” –Sister Sledge

            I used to think that when I got married I would get a new last name and a new family—score! My family would gain a son and la la la, “I got all my sisters with me”. In reality though, Joe and I are now a family; our own little family, just chilling in Durham. We still have families and we obviously still love them, but instead of gaining new family members we additionally, have created a new family. I think before I only considered that we would “start” a family once we had wittle bebes, but we now are seeking new family traditions at holidays, new dinner ideas, new schedules, and new grocery lists. We treaded some rocky water in the first month in the comparison game… "Well, my family does this…” "My family always used this…” Guess what? It does not matter. Our family is still in the establishment stage and we are still stumbling through it, because our families have had a lot longer to get their acts together and my mom’s laundry just smells better and her food just taste better. We are so thankful to have such incredible families to structure our family after (Caveat: I still call my mom much more than the average gal. Sorry, she's my bestie.). You are called to leave your mother and father, cleaving to your spouse. Our family now represents a sacredness that our families respect and value. We are now one flesh—say WHAAA.

2.The world’s concept of marriage looks a lot different than God’s intent for marriage:

The world tells us that marriage is going to fix us. You will truly be happy once you are married, but if you aren’t before I doubt the new stressors of marriage will make you much happier. Our spouse is not some incredible healer. When I hurt really, really badly Joe brings me comfort but only God can heal those pains. How does our perception of marriage change when we consider its purpose is to make us more holy? Marriage is the most tangible glimpse we get on earth of what Christ’s love for us looks like. The bible uses the metaphor of bride and bridegroom to describe His love for us. Y’all, this is just beautiful to me. Rather than making us wait till Heaven to experience something this close to His love He gives us marriage. The world considers marriage a contract. We are bound to marriage, like prison or a business deal and once we don’t enjoy it anymore we must break our contract. Contracts tell us that marriage is a 50-50 deal, but really at no point has our marriage been 50-50 so far; instead, Joe has owned a lot of responsibility as I have struggled with grieving and sickness. I have been responsible for encouraging him as he seeks new job opportunities. We have to give way more than 50 percent without feeling used or entitlement. However, the Bible tells us marriage is rather a covenant between two people, modeled after Christ’s covenant in the New Testament. It is completely unconditional. When things get tricky or even unbearable we can depend on the unconditional love of our spouse as something that can’t be broken or taken off the table. A covenant is all the good parts of a contract yet, better and without legalities. I don’t have to be concerned if I am violating some code or if my actions will be used against me later.

3.Protecting your marriage through meaningful boundaries:

Communication is just not my thing, not my cup tea, not my scone. I am actually an expert at low blows and saying truly hurtful things during arguments. I come from a culture that openly picks out the flaws of men and one thing I realized I would need to commit myself to was protecting Joe’s integrity in that atmosphere. Rather than calling five girlfriends on speed dial every time I get my feelings hurt, it is much more useful to effectively communicate within our marriage, instead of finding refuge in resources outside of our marriage. Another thing, I found revolutionary was score keeping is completely useless. Y’all, I love hard but I have a memory like no other when it comes to hurt feelings. Only in the last two years of our relationship did I stop this with Joe. During a huge fight, I started to bring up the time he called me stupid in 2008 at 5:14 in the evening and realized wow, this is not that productive. Communication is a tricky business and everyone comes into fights, discussions, arguments (all code words for “ish getting real”) from different angles. Employing a language of repentance is much more productive. Apologizing for being selfish, instead of “I’m sorry I recognized how absolutely ridiculous you were being” or instead of slamming the door so hard your dog confused it for a minor earthquake, is a terrifying, vulnerable, and rewarding language to speak. Let us all write this on our hearts and foreheads, “But let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger” (James 1:19). Another thing that was so helpful for us, was physically writing down a list of boundaries we would abide by: never bringing up divorce or leaving the house when fighting, going to bed at the same time, etc. Writing these down and thinking through ways to protect your marriage in a world that is against marriage was so important to us. Also, serving one another in our marriage has brought us such great joy—waking up to a packed lunch when you were dead tired the night before is love.

I was petrified by marriage when we began talking about it as a reality because I heard of such horror stories from newlyweds about those first few months, years of marriage. I am confident we will see much more rocky road ahead and rejoice much louder in the future, but today I am happy right where I am.

Life Lessons from my Best Friend

After the hardest week of my life, I am realizing what a beautiful God I serve. He remains the same always, regardless of life's ugly and trying circumstances. Thankful that life is only a small utterance of eternity.

Many would consider it unorthodox for a 23 year-old and an 81 year-old to be best friends. However, I am a 23 year-old and I recently said goodbye to my best friend. He turned 81 in May. I am honored to call my grandfather, my Pawpaw, my best friend. Best friends make you laugh, they let you cry, and one of my favorites, they just sit with you. My Pawpaw was a pro at all of the above. I am so blessed that from the very beginning of life I had a built-in best friend and boy, did he go above and beyond the call of duty. I know many adored my grandfather, as I do. Unfortunately, I have always been selfish with my Pawpaw and considered him mine. I would like to share a few of my favorite life lessons that I learned from my Pawpaw, those that I cling close to my heart.

1.     Laugh at yourself often: If you were around my Pawpaw for any extended amount of time, either you were laughing or he was laughing, and even more probable, you were both laughing. His laugh is one of my favorite sounds in the world: a deep belly laugh that echoed through any room he entered. One of my favorite laughs erupted one afternoon while my Pawpaw and I were sitting at the kitchen table playing cards. Pawpaw had leaned way back in his chair, most likely while I was taking an exceptionally long time deciding between picking up all the cards on the table, probably the wrong decision but one I often chose, or drawing a new, mystery card. As I weighed the advantages of each decision, Pawpaw surely gave me a hard time then, slowly he moved further and further back until “BAM”, he tumbled backwards. Tumble might actually be too graceful; rather, he plopped onto the floor. Before I could even fully comprehend the banging of the steel chair on the ground and figure out how to react, I heard it--the laugh, loud and crisp. We both laughed till tears filled our eyes. We laughed so long that I forgot to help him up until he kindly prompted. Soon after in the same sitting, but probably a new game of Rummy, I couldn’t quite reach the discard pile so I was perched on my knees, reaching for new cards when my chair followed suit and flipped. Of course, as my Pawpaw had done previously, any fear or hurt I felt dissipated, and a laugh crept out. We again laughed, yet this time harder and more enthusiastically than before. In my ten-year-old body, I would not have found it particularly entertaining that my chair flipped over if I hadn’t witnessed my Pawpaw’s reaction to a similar situation moments previous. My Pawpaw and I did this often, laughed at ourselves or one another so much that it became a habit. I am thankful for times I can laugh off the bad and cling to the good, because of his wisdom.

2.     Sandbag when it is necessary and it is always necessary: Most 1^st graders did not learn to count by adding up Black Jack scores and even fewer, elementary students practiced their mathematics skills through Spades and Rummy; yet, this was where so much of my time was spent with my Pawpaw. My Grandpaw was a perfecter of the art of sandbagging. If you are unfamiliar with this art, it is the practice of keeping a whole lot of cards in your hand so your opponent falsely believed he or she was beating you, then unloading all of your cards onto the table in one, fowl sweep. Pawpaw was the master and I fell for it every time. I was a poor sport and often joked he even cheated Sol, his favorite opponent in Solitaire. In another sense though, my Pawpaw taught me you don’t always need all your cards out on the table. My Pawpaw could be a man of vivacious laughter or serious life anecdotes, but he also taught me the importance of learning from my life lessons, remaining observant always, and seeking solace in the quiet. I treasured the moments of stillness I shared with my Pawpaw as much as I did the moments of entertainment. Being still and treasuring what was most important in life was one of the great strengths of my Grandpaw. Whether it was taking time to call those he loved daily or sitting on the front porch counting cars with me, he never confused quiet for boredom. Instead, he taught me remaining content with yourself is a greater virtue than busyness.  

3. Read as many stories as you tell: There are few memories I have of my Grandpaw that don’t involve him reading a book or us talking about books. My Pawpaw is the author of my love story with literature and the reason I chose to be an English major and now, an English teacher. Pawpaw was a voracious reader and went through books like wildfire. He was the wisest man I knew and he had just as many stories of his own to add with the stories from the pages of his books. Listening to my Pawpaw tell stories about his life as a kid or those more rebellious times as a young man, I always smiled at his way with words. He could weave them together as flawlessly as he could whittle a stick. I always wished he would write books of his own to let others hear his stories. 

4. Love hard and fair: My Pawpaw loved a lot of things and a lot of people. To know my Grandpaw, was to love him. He was worrier about the things he loved. Where was I? Was I safe? He wanted everyone to feel loved and at peace with one another. I remember one particular dog he loved, a hyper a Jack Russel that followed him around. He just had a soft heart for things that needed love and I was so thankful that I was one of those things. 

5. Don’t be afraid to let others sit in the driver’s seat: My Pawpaw hasn’t been an official North Carolina driver for quite a few years, but many of my favorite times with him were spent en route. Whether the two of us decided we really needed a slushie and Vienna weenies from the corner store or in the last seven years if I was in the driver’s seat, we were sit on going somewhere and thankfully, it was always together. We spent plenty of time in the cars of others, too. My Pawpaw's kind and equally hilarious comrades constantly had me slamming on my imaginary brakes, as their eyesight had not been as kind to them as Pawpaw's. But my favorite memory of driving, involved a snowy afternoon when Pawpaw trusted me to drive us--on a sled. Pawpaw and I loaded the sled at the top of a substantial hill in our backyard. This story is already incredible that my Pawpaw was allowing a young me to steer him on a sled. We moved faster and faster and my excitement must have overcome my ability of maneuver and straight into a tree we ran. Pawpaw chuckled and we got up and shook off the snow. My Grandpaw still teased me about my driving skills that day, but I think stories like this one remind me how willing my Pawpaw was to trust me. He allowed me to make decisions well before others did and trusted they would be the right ones. He often showered others with praise and I always knew I was making at least one person proud, no matter what. My Pawpaw was okay with others leading, but he taught me to know when not to follow and most importantly, to enjoy whatever ride we were taking.

Pawpaw, I imagine you are playing cards with gold chips, reading the greatest and largest novels ever written, and every time I hear thunder I will assume it is just the angels laughing heartily after hearing one of your stories. You were with me from the beginning and will remain with me always.