BFFL: Friends and Unity among Sisters

Working in a high school is like collecting man holes worth of social science experimental data. I feel like Lindsay Lohan... fade in... from the legendary opening scene of the timeless classic, Mean Girls. That's me, an unruly Ginger pre-rehab observing the new [social] world order of high school. Perplexed, yet fascinated. Girls, especially the high school species, are perplexing to say the very less. I absolutely always reflect on fifteen-year-old me when I get frustrated or sadden or maddened when quick-talking, sassy, scantily clad little things enter my classroom. There are quite a few things I learn from these ladies, who under all that sass are brilliant and radiant jewels that I want to shake love into and wrap a potato sack around their exposed mid-drifts. Momma Alyssa be lurkin'.

1. Comparison is a losing game.

First, what would a world look like where girls, ladies, and full-grown women started respecting one another and living in a sisterhood of unity? Well, it would look good, really good. Like Oreo Cheesecake good. Growing up surrounded by the smartest and most beautiful friends, I constantly played a comparison game. Am I good enough? Am I smart enough? Am I likable enough? I wish, oh my stars I wish, that comparison stopped once you were handed a high school diploma, but girls play this game till the grave. I struggle daily to push away the thoughts of negativity that crept up when I see a girl doing something I deem "inappropriate"... too high of heels, bad eyebrows.

What would my life, my prayer life, my relationship with my husband, my relationships with girlfriends look like if I saw other women for their beauty, intelligence, and spiritual gifts rather than a lack of my own beauty, intelligence, or spiritual gifts? I am so quick to use other women as a measuring stick of my own success in various realms of life, instead of bolstering and building up one another. Hopefully, you are following my logic, but have y'all ever considered a girl putting down another girl such a sophomoric event? Childish. Gossip seems so "immature" , YET don't we as women of God, as sisters in Christ, as women put down other women daily. Don't we question how women mother their children, how they dress, how they interact with men, how they excel in their careers, how they treat the pursuit of relationships? How can we expect true spiritual growth among our friends when we terminate any seed of vulnerability? Call me silly, but I am less likely to express my struggles, the real real life that is going on behind a murmured prayer request or a lingering text if I feel a tinge of judgment every time I interact with someone.

2. Honoring friendships.

Honoring my selfish friends, honoring my single friends, honoring my busy friends, honoring my fun friends, honoring my extroverted friends.

Honoring friends can be hard. Being called to live in community is hard. Living in community with our sisters in Christ is struggling together and worshiping together and praising together. I should suffer alongside my sisters as if those are my afflictions. Community is not a text sporadically sent once a month or tagging a friend in a tweet. Honoring a friendship is a two-way street that includes accountability, hard talks, and a catalog of transpiring grace. Our friendships should provide a clearer picture of God's character. Girls, what if we spent as much time pursuing relationships with one another, as we do judging one another?

I must use this space to brag and brag some more on my best friend, who teaches me every, single day a new way to love my sisters in Christ. This beautiful soul teaches me more daily what a friendship rooted in Christ looks like, sounds like, and feels like. She encourages me. She prays over me. She listens when I need her to and speaks without regret when I need accountability. She shares biblical truths with me and teaches me how to show grace in numerous ways. The list could continue, my friends, this girl KILLS being a friend! She's all-star quality. I absolutely desire to be more like her in my pursuit of friendships. I pray as a community of women, all girls seek these deeply rooted and insanely fulfilling friendships. Friendship should not be a battle of who makes you feel less awkward it is who allows you to feel most at home with being your awkward, adorably weird, and quirky selves. I challenge myself to get better at this. I challenge myself to be intentional in building meaningful community that uplifts and encourages all.

Like Queen Bey always says, "Who run the world? Girls." Not that pertinent, but necessary.