Marrying young and other acts of Idiocy.

Joe and I will celebrate six months of martial bliss in four, short days and it is loco crazy how quickly time travels, but is equally crazy how often people weigh in their opinions about our decision to marry young. Recently someone asked me..."how did you know?" Know that you are being strange? Know there is green remnants of tapas in my teeth? Obviously, I wasn't following this inquisitive friend's stream of consciousness, but he soon ironed out the details for me. "No, no. How did you know he was the one? How did you know you should get married?" This conversation unraveled into a quick debriefing of the two prevailing "schools of thoughts" about marriage. Apparently, some people think that people should marry young because then you change and grow together and others believe you should wait until you are fully mature (...oh, wait. I thought I was. Awkward.), settled in your career, and ready before you marry. Plenty of other strangers are quick to give me their two-cents. I love hearing it. The Gasp. "You are married? Oh, but you are so young. Poor thing." Another fine gentlemen recently informed me I chose the marriage pathway because I was Southern (obviously, a synonym for idiotic. Don't even get me started, y'all). He quickly informed me that though I felt I was happy I would have never made such a mistake (he used somewhat nicer lingo) if I didn't grow up in the South.

Hear ye. Hear ye.

Let me now assure all of you that I am proud and confident of our decision to marry young. I don't believe it means I have third leg or a hankering to marry my first cousin. In our unique case, marrying young was an act of obedience to God. We dated and it was where the Lord led us, although, this isn't the case for everyone; we knew it was right for us. The Apostle Paul wasn't too keen on marriage he says in 1 Corinthians, "But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this." You right Paul, you right. But Psalms tells us that wives [and presumably husbands] are more valuable than rubies, so why would you ignore the goodness of what Christ has led you to because you are anticipating...a diamond, a shinier new career. There is always a bigger and better version of the reality you are in. As my pastor always says don't let good things become God things. The inability to settle down for some is a reflection of the fear they may be experiencing. I have many friends who murmur halfheartedly that they will have time to serve God once they are married. Do not allow the "what if's" of life distract you from the right-now-nuggets-of-goodness that are all around you (this applies to so much more than marriage). 

I think marriage is a valued commodity in a culture that gives it little legitimacy. We tune in to watch televised weddings that cost hundreds of thousands of dollars (nothing but love, Sean and Catherine!), and send tweets at rocket-power speed when couples divorce. We mock marriage and we joke about it. As Paul states in his letters, marriage isn't for everyone, but those who decide to enter into marriage are entering into a sacred union that now includes you, your spouse, and Christ. I am confident that the person I am today will change and transform into a refined version over time, but I am more than confident that Christ knows the strands of hair on my head and equally knows the intricacies of mine and my husband's marriage and will continue to grow us for his glory. I consider what I have learned about compromise, financial struggle, serving one another, and joy in the short six months we have been married and I know there is so much more to come. I am thankful that we can use being young as an excuse for the next five years when we fall flat on our faces over and over again. I yelp of joy thinking of how much greater Christ's love for us is than any love we can give to one another. 

There it is. I am married. I am 23 years old. I am not dumb. 

Just to soothe the pain of the aforementioned naysayers rudeness condoning the goodness that lies below the Mason-Dixon line, here are five reasons I love the South: 

1. Diet Sundrop. errwhere. and whatever additive in it that makes it addictive (but really don't tell me about all its health effects. I am sipping on one now and I am as fat and happy as a cat).
2. BBQ: Eastern, Western, Vinegar, Ketchup...while I hold a favorite in this feud it is all so good it does not matter. 
3. Wrap-a-round porches and the smell of fresh cut grass. I am aware this must exist in the North, but this is the cornerstone of Southern goodness, y'all.
4. Sweet Tea-- which is just awful for your health, but so darn good for your soul. 
5. Random people greeting you (because I try to do this in other places and it is frowned upon).

Fresh Face: Current Favorite Products

No shocker to the world, but I have a confession I really love some makeup. Hellllur (cue Madea voice), if you spend any time with me it is apparent that I love my makeup. Also, I love perusing YouTube videos (please let me know if you need recommendations because I have two lists: 1. the hysterically odd ones and 2. the really helpful videos). Momma B is quite the diva and she long instilled in me the importance of quality in your face care products and makeup. She also taught me to budget for biweekly manicures (Hubs isn't as keen on this one ;)). I also really enjoy doing others' makeup and am a sucker for playing with new products. Drop me off at a Sephora and I would be content for hours on end! Do not hear me wrong in that girls are not beautiful without makeup, but for this girl I feel especially confident when I am sporting a fresh face! I am all for practices that renew girls' confidence and make them feel as beautiful as they truly are! Also, let me admit I am all about convenience and sometimes do my makeup in the car (Read: I always do my makeup in the car. Picture a manic me holding an eyeliner in one hand, while chugging coffee in the other...Oops). 

Drum roll, please. Here are my current favorite products. Refer to the numbers below for all the deets.

1. Well-Rested Eye Brightener Broad Spectrum SPF 20: Ladies, run and do not walk to get this concealer. I struggle with pretty severe allergies and consequently, have killer dark circles. This product does exactly what it promises makes you look well-rested! It also provides wonderful protection via SPF (very important in this sensitive zone around your eyes!).  I also love the look of the powder which was surprising to me as a long under the eye liquid concealer veteran. I use a dense brush to apply it under my eyes. An additional benefit is how little product you need!

2. MAC Studio Fix Fluid SPF 15: Okay, foundation is tricky! I have tried several different types of foundation and have most recently settled down in the MAC district, but believe the Studio Fix is my current fav out of the various foundations offered. I love coverage, like a lot of coverage. Studio Fix offers the best long wear coverage in my opinion, without looking "cakey". There is a face and body foundation offered that is equivalent to onstage makeup--this is supposed to offered the most coverage; yet, I think Studio Fix provides day long, natural coverage. One more note: if you are a newbie to MAC products their foundations are divided into two branches when looking for your right color match. You will notice foundation comes in shades such as NW 32 (the color I wear)--NW is for yellow undertone skin shades and NC is for red undertones and the number is increasing shade color (32 would be a dark shade in comparison to 20). One flaw of this product is the bottle does not include a pump (which you can buy from Mac for a few dollars. I did not buy one), and this may prevent you from utilizing every drop of the product.

3. Hard Candy Glamoflauge Heavy Duty Concealer ($6.00 at WalMart Stores): Six dollars, y'all! This gem's claim to fame is its ability to cover even tattoos...well, it probably would. I can attest to its wonderful ability to cover zits, and the like. I apply this to blemishes after application of my foundation. I highly recommend this concealer, especially for the low cost. Another plus is the shades are very user-friendly: ultra light, light, medium, tan, etc. I apply this with a foundation brush and I rarely have to retouch its application. While I am due for a new tube you get a ton of wear from this product and smaller than a dime size is more than enough.

4. Covergirl Lipslicks Smoochies in Text Me 220 (Less than $4.00 at grocery stores): You might want to pick this up based on its adorable name, duh. This product is less of a daily go-to for my routine, but a fun pick for Spring and Summertime. I often felt too cowardly to try out red lips, but the sheerness of this chapstick-lipstick dual mix is the bomb.com. I also love the sheerness that isn't too thick and doesn't leave your lips stained...aka looking like a 6 year-old that was playing in momma's makeup stash or a cray cray that could make a cameo as Mr. Kool-Aid's boo thing! It happens, y'all.

5. bareMinerals READY Blush in The Faux Pas: I know this color looks a little clown-esqe, but fear not it is really great on a variety of skin tones and looks surprisingly natural. I love to wear this color year-round. It provides awesome contour and is super fun. I also use this daily and have owned it for almost year now and still have plenty. bareMinerals also offers blush in loose powder, but I find this easier and longer lasting.

6. Rimmel Exaggerate Eyeliner in Noir (Target): I am forever looking for the perfect eyeliner. I was long a MAC eyeliner wearer, but I went through it way to fast and find this Rimmel to be comparable, if not better, for a major cut in price! As mentioned earlier, I have some kickin' allergies so I reapply eyeliner at least once a day because my eyes water and POOF! it is gone. This does a wonderful job staying in place and I favor the roll-up mechanical eyeliner to a sharpener style for convenience. Also, it comes with a blender on the bottom, which is great for different eyeliner looks!

7. MAC Mineralize Skinfinish Natural in Medium: Last, but not least! I love MAC Skinfinish as a finishing powder. On weekends I will often use this alone for less coverage, but I mainly use it to set my foundation. I would highly recommend trying out a finishing powder if you aren't pleased with the look of your foundation. Powder sets foundation for longer wear and a much more flawless finish. Also, do not be shy about returning makeup if you aren't pleased. MAC (and I know many other brands) will refund your purchase even after you have used all the product if you aren't pleased or you were poorly matched up!

Let me know if y'all have any questions and I would love to hear some of your favorite products (or if you have had bad experiences with any of these--not everyone has the same experiences)!

BFFL: Friends and Unity among Sisters

Working in a high school is like collecting man holes worth of social science experimental data. I feel like Lindsay Lohan... fade in... from the legendary opening scene of the timeless classic, Mean Girls. That's me, an unruly Ginger pre-rehab observing the new [social] world order of high school. Perplexed, yet fascinated. Girls, especially the high school species, are perplexing to say the very less. I absolutely always reflect on fifteen-year-old me when I get frustrated or sadden or maddened when quick-talking, sassy, scantily clad little things enter my classroom. There are quite a few things I learn from these ladies, who under all that sass are brilliant and radiant jewels that I want to shake love into and wrap a potato sack around their exposed mid-drifts. Momma Alyssa be lurkin'.

1. Comparison is a losing game.

First, what would a world look like where girls, ladies, and full-grown women started respecting one another and living in a sisterhood of unity? Well, it would look good, really good. Like Oreo Cheesecake good. Growing up surrounded by the smartest and most beautiful friends, I constantly played a comparison game. Am I good enough? Am I smart enough? Am I likable enough? I wish, oh my stars I wish, that comparison stopped once you were handed a high school diploma, but girls play this game till the grave. I struggle daily to push away the thoughts of negativity that crept up when I see a girl doing something I deem "inappropriate"... too high of heels, bad eyebrows.

What would my life, my prayer life, my relationship with my husband, my relationships with girlfriends look like if I saw other women for their beauty, intelligence, and spiritual gifts rather than a lack of my own beauty, intelligence, or spiritual gifts? I am so quick to use other women as a measuring stick of my own success in various realms of life, instead of bolstering and building up one another. Hopefully, you are following my logic, but have y'all ever considered a girl putting down another girl such a sophomoric event? Childish. Gossip seems so "immature" , YET don't we as women of God, as sisters in Christ, as women put down other women daily. Don't we question how women mother their children, how they dress, how they interact with men, how they excel in their careers, how they treat the pursuit of relationships? How can we expect true spiritual growth among our friends when we terminate any seed of vulnerability? Call me silly, but I am less likely to express my struggles, the real real life that is going on behind a murmured prayer request or a lingering text if I feel a tinge of judgment every time I interact with someone.

2. Honoring friendships.

Honoring my selfish friends, honoring my single friends, honoring my busy friends, honoring my fun friends, honoring my extroverted friends.

Honoring friends can be hard. Being called to live in community is hard. Living in community with our sisters in Christ is struggling together and worshiping together and praising together. I should suffer alongside my sisters as if those are my afflictions. Community is not a text sporadically sent once a month or tagging a friend in a tweet. Honoring a friendship is a two-way street that includes accountability, hard talks, and a catalog of transpiring grace. Our friendships should provide a clearer picture of God's character. Girls, what if we spent as much time pursuing relationships with one another, as we do judging one another?

I must use this space to brag and brag some more on my best friend, who teaches me every, single day a new way to love my sisters in Christ. This beautiful soul teaches me more daily what a friendship rooted in Christ looks like, sounds like, and feels like. She encourages me. She prays over me. She listens when I need her to and speaks without regret when I need accountability. She shares biblical truths with me and teaches me how to show grace in numerous ways. The list could continue, my friends, this girl KILLS being a friend! She's all-star quality. I absolutely desire to be more like her in my pursuit of friendships. I pray as a community of women, all girls seek these deeply rooted and insanely fulfilling friendships. Friendship should not be a battle of who makes you feel less awkward it is who allows you to feel most at home with being your awkward, adorably weird, and quirky selves. I challenge myself to get better at this. I challenge myself to be intentional in building meaningful community that uplifts and encourages all.

Like Queen Bey always says, "Who run the world? Girls." Not that pertinent, but necessary.